Katie Lessley

Andrea, TED, and Whitney

2012-02-12T18:30:00.000-08:00

It happened. It actually happened. It seems like a dream now. Until you're actually there in the space, on the stage, seeing the orchestra, it doesn't feel real. I kept having little panic attacks all week. Nothing could go wrong, and it seemed like everything did go wrong. I got sick, I lost my voice, Roland's car broke down RIGHT BEFORE we were to leave for the show, my mom was on her way from Dallas...I was a huge ball of nerves. Until she told me she and Jennifer were inside the Erwin Center having cocktails, I couldn't relax and enjoy the experience.

Roland and I backstage right before rehearsal. You could smell the level of excitement backstage. It was thick. Intoxicating. Contagious. Amazing.

Our first time going into the Erwin Center through the loading dock... We all had this grin on our faces.

We totally used the Longhorn locker room. Talk about geekin' out.

I was surrounded by people I love and respect. We are all so gifted and blessed. The fact that we get to do such cool things together is special and rare. I try to remember this when we have difficult music to learn.

Seeing the empty Erwin Center before the gig doesn't give the venue justice at all. There's nothing like walking out onto a stage in front of 11,000+ people. It's definitely something I could get used to. :)

Here's Agatha and I getting an Anton photobomb at the Austin TED event. It was one of the coolest things I've ever been a part of. I'll share the link when they put it online.

The day after my long performing weekend is full of laziness and kitty dreams. It's cold outside, so Boo Boo and I are curled up on his favorite Superkitty blanket.

And a note about Whitney Houston...

I remember singing How Will I Know when I was a little girl. Her death affected me on a deeper level than Amy's or Etta's. I feel a loss that I did not ever expect to feel for someone I didn't know personally. I hope she's at peace. ♥

Vocal Rest

2012-02-07T20:09:00.000-08:00

I'm sick. I'm voiceless. I'm hopeful.

This past Friday (4 days ago), I had grand plans for the weekend. I was going to clean my house, make the rounds to all of my friends' Super Bowl parties, and rehearse my Bocelli music. Little did I know, my body had other plans.

Vocal rest is almost impossible. I don't think I realized how much I talk to myself! I talk to myself, animals, the tv, the phone, people ON the phone, Redda James (my car), my computer, in my sleep, other people in traffic (that's more yelling than talking), and so on.....

I made a sign to wear around my neck at work tomorrow. I fully expect to be the butt of endless jokes, but I can be smug with my Bocelliness. Mmmm hmmmm. *finger snap*

I have a very cool engagement on Saturday night that I can't tell you about just yet. I've been told I can release details Saturday morning, so expect some cool news then. Until then...*silence*

OH! AND TODAY IS MY MAMA'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥ you mama!

Also,

2012-01-30T13:04:00.000-08:00

this.

This is a beautiful article. Made my shoulders relax a little.

No-Poo & Buttons

2012-01-30T08:22:00.000-08:00

I stopped using shampoo right before Thanksgiving. Today, I don't even have to use product on my hair. I could not be happier with my choice to stop using shampoo. My hair is a little wilder, but it's all natural. Google it. There's a ton of information about it online in the blogosphere.

You know those extra sets of buttons that come with new clothes? I keep them. ALL of them. And this weekend, it finally paid off. I pulled out an old button down shirt and it was missing a button. I looked through my stash and found one of the originals and sewed it right on. That's a good feeling. The feeling that your hoard is useful and not just a hoard. :)

Whew!

2012-01-24T22:10:00.000-08:00

Just had an awesome night.
Bocelli rehearsal, Emily Shirley at the Whip In, Kitty lovings, whataburger (i know, i broke my abstinence pledge), and we got RAIN!!!!!!!!

♥

Etta

2012-01-20T09:06:00.000-08:00

Etta,
Thank you. For your gift. For your crazy. For your vocal chords. For your time on this planet. I owe you.
♥♥

Exhaustion

2012-01-18T08:23:00.000-08:00

This is my yearly post about allergies and tiredness. My first couple of years in Austin, the cedar almost killed me. I've acclimated a bit, but I still get run down by cedar. (I have an increasing allergy to mold, too, but that only causes mild swelling in my limbs.) I have a headache that stays all day long and I could nap standing up. So what do normal people do to combat their allergies? Drugs. Awesome, convenient, (and dehydrating) little pink allergy pills.

Allergy meds dry me up like a desert. Causing me to lose my voice. So my options are to feel like crap or be voiceless. And I can't be voiceless during the Spring because of Conspirare. My first Bocelli rehearsal is in 6 days and I want to be healthy and in good voice. (I'm singing in the choir with Andrea Bocelli at the Erwin Center February 10th, get your tickets now now now)

When it's everybody else...

2012-01-11T14:42:00.000-08:00

it's probably just you.

I have a terribly bad attitude today. I don't know what to do about it other than to go to the gym.

I have a sickness. Welcome to it.

2012-01-09T17:16:00.000-08:00

Blue Christmas lights are my fave. *Cue Elvis' Blue Christmas*

Not everyone is caught up in the holiday gift-making experience. In fact, some KITTIES prefer to sleep on the presents as they are being made. Quality Tester Boo Boo is fluffy and cute, and annoying.
But still fluffy and cute. And still annoying.

The before. At this point, Santa's Workshop has begun, but I have yet to get into the messiest parts of sewing. The ugly truth about being creative is that it wrecks your house. I am not going to apologize for my hectic workspace. NEVER!!!!

This is what it ends up being at the end. Actually, this is smack dab in the middle of it all. It's still a little messy, and I've had 2 weeks to clean it up. Spring cleaning shall happen when it feels more like Spring. HA!

In a month, I can make
one queen-sized t-shirt quilt,
one Angry Bird pillow,
4 bags/purses,
4 scarves,
and 14 hats.

I also have had this pillow on my couch for years with the same safety pins. It would take less than 5 minutes to sew with a needle and some thread. But I leave it untouched out of laziness.
Yin and yang. Ebb and flow. :) & :(

:)

I spend the holidays with people I admire. Here's Jana and I all blurry on the last night of the year.

New Years Eve was low key this year. Tattoo and Jana were fast friends. Gail and Kaye made dinner of ham, beans, and cornbread. And we rang in the new year officially at the karaoke bar with Rachel. Home, safe and sound, by 12:30. Asleep by 5am. We stayed up giggling. Perfect way to start 2012.

Although I may be a total slob, I like things to have an aesthetically pleasing order. Organized chaos. My own mess.

So this is my sickness. I must put things on the wall. The wall must be covered. At all times. If I rearrange the furniture, the walls get done, too. Taste levels aside, I surround myself with stuff that I've worked hard for and things that inspire me.

Abstinence

2012-01-04T13:20:00.000-08:00

January is a month of detox for me this year. No eating out and no alcohol. I did it in October last year and it was great. I slipped up a couple of times, but I only ate outside of the house 3 times and drank twice. I felt fantastic at the end of the month. Physically, spiritually, willpowerly.

I forgot my lunch yesterday, so I had to go out and get something. I didn't make the best choice either. But instead of wallowing in my regret, I jump right back in. I am not one of those people that can go to a bar and not drink. I've never been one of those people. If I want to be sober, I have to stay out of the bars.

It's hard to tell people no. "Yes, I want to hang out, but I can't." In some cases, it's easier to lie and say I have other plans, but for the most part, I try to just be honest. Some friends understand, and some don't. Not everyone wrestles with the same demons. Not everyone is equip with the same life tools.

Telling people that you have issues is difficult but necessary. If you want to have an honest relationship with someone, you have to dredge through hard times together. You will be better friends in the long run. Good things don't always come easy.

First world problems, yo.

Edit* I forgot to say happy new year. So, happy new year. :)

All I Want To Do!

2011-12-14T16:37:00.001-08:00

Is post the pics of the presents I've made! But they're presents!!!!

Amy

2011-12-06T07:04:00.000-08:00

Thinking about Amy W. today.
Dammit.

I have a lot going on right now. Santa's Workshop is in full swing. I wish I could show you what I'm making, but they're presents! My house is a disaster. Piles of fabric everywhere. I've made a habit of taking more breaks so I don't get overwhelmed. I've been picking up the guitar on those breaks. Trying to learn a new song every night. Last night was Radiohead High and Dry. Might as well. It's like my favorite freakin' song.

2011-11-20T22:55:00.000-08:00

This video is my entry for this awesome Dixie Chicks contest. Shout out to Jana for listening to all 78 takes. I'm just happy I got through the song in it's entirety with no major flubs. My hair is a mess, but hey, it doesn't look that different when it's not a mess. *shrug*

This was a test for me. To see if I could learn a song and play it (and sing) on a deadline. Instead of my usual, willy-nilly, "I'm learning this song and someday I'll play it for people" style.

:) I accomplished a goal. That feels pretty good. Even with messy hair, it feels pretty good. Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

****edit - I made the top ten! Click here to see. :)*******

:o)

2011-11-17T22:35:00.001-08:00

Big Boi is sweet to all of the ladies.
Furry, fabric, fabulous...he takes all kinds.

Yep. I'm wearing this in November.
Outside.
In the beautiful, dry sunshine.
*does rain dance*

Pic Post

2011-11-06T15:47:00.000-08:00

This is my hood. I love North Austin. I'm pretty sure the sky looks the same in South Austin, but the north side just feels like home.

These are my girls. Heather, Jana, and Emily from left to right. The night went really well at the Red Shed.

Showcase Night at the Red Shed

2011-10-28T14:48:00.000-07:00

Click here for details.
I can't think of a better way to kick off November. My good friends, Heather Miller-Rodriguez, Emily Shirley, and Jana Pochop, and I are gonna be singing at the Red Shed next Tuesday (11-1-11). You should come and hear some lovely.

You want to go to there.

Gimme some sugar :x (Katie Fall Update)

2011-10-25T08:38:00.000-07:00

I've curbed my fast food (pretty much eating out in general) habit this month. Several reasons, but the most important reasons being money and calories. I've plateaued and I need a little kick to get the ball rolling again. Still working out all the time...I added swimming. I swim at least twice a week (1000 meters usually, but I've done 2000 :).

Not eating as many calories makes me a crabbyfacepants, so in order to keep my cheery disposition at work, I've gone back to real sugar in my tea. Artificial sweeteners make me hungry, and diet cokes don't taste the same unless they're from McDonald's. Sure enough, the sugar does the trick and I'm more pleasant to be around (I think RAWWWWWRRRRRR).

We're having a pumpkin decorating contest at work for Halloween. I made the trophy for the winner (sorry for the cell phone pic). I can't wait for Halloween this year. Last year kinda sucked, so I plan on making up for it big time this year.

That's a gold-leafed foam pumpkin glued to black wood. If it ever falls apart, I've left a few little secret messages in it for the winner. :) Little things are keeping me going.

I've been playing guitar a lot. I can play almost an entire country album! (the latest Miranda Lambert ;) Turns out, practice DOES make you better!

Our Conspirare season was short but sweet this fall. My good buddies were there, and good times were had and stuff. Here's Christy, Agatha, and I before our performance. Girl power and stuff. Specifically alto. !

Pretzowls

2011-10-12T12:34:00.000-07:00

When life gives you pretzels...

make owls.

RAAAWWWWRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

2011-10-10T22:15:00.000-07:00

Burning more than you take in can make you angry!

Kitties help with that.

2011-10-04T20:58:00.000-07:00

As beautiful as our sky can be, I wouldn't mind if it clouded over and rained for about a year.

I made some time with the devout tonight. I believe in what I believe in just as much as they do, if not more. That in itself is comforting.

Evergreen

2011-09-30T07:38:00.000-07:00

I got a copy of Susan Gibson's Tightrope a couple of months ago and it's still in my car. Months and months of listening brought me to a couple of songs that I desperately wanted to cover. I worked on them and worked on them, and then I decided to go with a completely different song. From the moment I learned the chords, I knew this was the one I wanted to do.

I enlisted the help of my great friends, Jana Pochop, and Emily Shirley. Together, we should be able to schedule a meeting where we discuss TAKING OVER THE WORLD!! MUHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA

So here it is. ♥

And of course, there was also a photo shoot.
Yes, that's a bike helmet, topped with a floppy cowgirl hat, topped by an Amish top hat.

Here's a convenient link to all of my Youtube posts:)

Or you could just go subscribe (:

New Music!

2011-09-22T16:11:00.000-07:00

I can't wait! Jana, Emily, Heather and I are Youtubin' soon. Stay tuned.

Heart-shaped Scrape

2011-09-21T13:24:00.000-07:00

ACL left it's mark on me. It was painful, but they had free bandaids. :)

Music Routes

2011-09-21T12:08:00.000-07:00

Music suggesting is hit or miss with me. There are very few people I will trust with music suggestions. Some of my friends will hit me with the ole "you would love _____, y'all sound alike." What they really mean is "I wish you would sing music in this style." It's often flattering and frustrating at the same time. I can't stand requests. Unless you know my rep, don't request. This is one of the reasons I don't karaoke as much as I used to (other reasons being drunks, bohemian rhapsody, and monotony).

People I unquestionably take requests/suggestions from:
Eli M
Chrissy P
Rachel R
William M
Jennifer H

Just as a record. :)

ACL

2011-09-19T19:55:00.000-07:00

It was great.
My faves:

Stevie Wonder
TV on the Radio
Theophilus London
Fitz and the Tantrums
Brandi Carlile

Respect every little detail.

2011-09-14T10:09:00.000-07:00

Even easy notes are written for a reason.

Our rehearsal last night left an impression on me. Sometimes, being an alto is a little boring. We're often the muscle underneath the beautiful chord; the power behind the puff. Craig reminded us to work for every note, no matter how easy it may be. Singing an easy line like you think it's easy leads to a line that sounds tedious and boring.

I'll admit that in the past, I've been resentful of the fact that the alto section usually gets the monotonous, one-note line, supporting role in the choir. My attitude about this changed once I started singing in a choir again a couple of years ago. Because along with this easy line, we get some of the most beautiful moving and transitional notes. What a wonderful gift! Maybe this new take on my role in a choir has something to do with the awesome people I sing with, or maybe it has to do with age. At this point, it doesn't matter why choral singing means more to me. It only matters that it matters. Every little note.

Happy Birthday, Love.

2011-09-01T14:57:00.001-07:00

Eli,

I thank God every day for her gift of you.
I can't wait to spend the weekend doing fun stuff.

<3

Lighten Your Load

2011-08-29T17:52:00.000-07:00

It's hot. Last night, at midnight, it was still almost 100 degrees. With the heat, and the economy, and the craziness in the world, you have to find some way to lighten your load.

I weighed my bag/purse before I left the gym today. It weighed 9.6 lbs. ALMOST TEN POUNDS!!!! I think it may be time to either find a smaller bag, or make a conscious effort to carry less.

Before the unloading, it's bursting at the seams!

I love this blog, so here is my little tribute.

Click for a bigger view if you must.

2 pairs of pants
1 blouse
2 pairs of socks (one clean, one not)
notebook
calendar
pen
5 pairs of earrings (4 hoops)
1 pair of chopsticks (for hair)
1 necklace
4 misc hair things/clips
a clean tissue
eyeglass case with extra specs and earplugs
sunscreen
a newspaper (8-23-11)
disc 4 of Caprica Season 1
a stack of mail
an iphone
a misc How Do You Roll card
usb charger plug thingy
bag of pills (vitamins and aleves!)
locker lock
2 bottles of gum (one empty, one half full)
a can of tuna
Coke points cap
my purse
weight lifting gloves
the lid to some sherbet
dental floss

Remember when...?

2011-08-21T22:56:00.000-07:00

I had this party years ago. I had just learned to make hummus. Heck, I had just learned what hummus was. I made the most giantest batch of hummus that had ever been made. It was so dry, it was just this massive mound of ground-up chickpeas.

I want to thank all of the people that are still friends with me after that. I also want to thank anyone who was there that has let me cook for them since.

♥

Staples

2011-08-16T20:56:00.000-07:00

FOOD POST! I keep specific things stocked in my kitchen.

I keep a ton of hard-boiled eggs in the fridge at all times. Ready to go protein for morning, salads, and tunafish is a must.

I always have iced tea made. I add a couple of chai bags for flavor. Sometimes a fruity teabag or two. I also have oj on hand for my morning commute. My road rage is off the chain without it. I don't know if that is the correct way of using "off the chain," but it makes sense to me. :P

Red onion, celery, and tomatoes are always found in my veggie bin. I usually have some kind of lettuce rinsed and ready to dish. I have to alternate lettuces because I get bored with the same ole salad every day.

This isn't a staple, but it's my new favorite thing. PICKLE POPS!!! Yes, I am now freezing pickle juice. It keeps me from drinking the juice straight out of the jar, and gives me a treat that's both cold and salty. Just what I need after a long workout.

Mentoring

2011-08-12T09:41:00.000-07:00

I have a weight loss mentor.
I go to her for all of my working out advice.
Justine Wolfie, you are the shit.
♥

I need a higher purpose

2011-08-11T19:15:00.000-07:00

something to elevate all of this that seems to lid my life

Last night's workout broke a couple of bad habits. Daydreaming is not encouraged at the gym, even though
it's totally encouraged with t.v. and movie screens.

Be present. Pay attention. Push harder.
Be patient. Use your tools.
Love.

Bamf yogi

2011-08-09T08:26:00.000-07:00

I got a couple of questions about the use of "bamf" in my last post. Just in case you don't have time to google that, it means "bad ass mutha f*&^er."

Here's her website. :) Clickity. Check out the partner yoga section. She's amazeballs.

Meditation in G

2011-08-03T15:43:00.000-07:00

As in GTL baby! Jersey Shore is back!

In my yoga class, my (bamf) yogi talks about intention. "What are your intentions in this class, today?" This question has so much power. In one instant, all of my thoughts rush and stop at the same time. And now, anytime the word "intent" creeps into my brain, my pause button is pushed. Yoga is great for anxiety.

I've adopted the "intent" method in my gym routine lately and it's changed the way I operate. I used to think about going to the gym as just time spent. Now, it's more about a more purposeful attitude. Work out smarter. Or at least with more of a purpose.

It's a thousand degrees outside. It's a thousand degrees outside.

Let's all take refuge without bringing down the power grid.
Drink more water!

You Have Everything You Need

2011-08-02T13:32:00.000-07:00

Fight multitasking for a minute.
Stop the audio.
Close the extra tabs.
Stop the auto play.
Turn off the phone.
If that was as hard for you as it was for me,
you may have a problem.

A first-world problem.

Getting in tune with being just me, without a tv
Without hulu and Netflix
Without youtube and itunes
Without my morning dj and my tabs waiting to be read
Without the constant interruption of waiting for a textback
Why do I feel like I need these things?

I don’t have a good answer to that question.
In all honesty, my answer is “because I just do.”

Amy

2011-07-23T10:26:00.000-07:00

Today is such a sad day.

I wanted so much for you to pull through
and take over.
♥

New Pickup!

2011-07-22T21:14:00.001-07:00

My friend, Susan Gibson, bought me a pickup! She's on tour now. You want to go to there.

Thanks, Suz! ♥

Ritalin

2011-07-22T07:59:00.000-07:00

Jana and I finally recorded something and slapped it up on the Youtubes. :)

Social Media All Up In Yo FACE!

2011-07-21T07:50:00.000-07:00

Too. Many. New. Websites. BAHHHH!

I think Spotify and Kickstarter were the bamboo sticks that broke the koala's back. I can't sign up for more websites right now. I have this reverbnation thing that I've never set up, and you can't make me. I want to get away from the virus-laden Myspace, but I have too many passwords that I can't remember. Seriously, I have to reset my passwords every time I go to certain websites (Twitter) because I don't go there on the regular. Social media is turning me off lately, and I think it's turning everyone else off, too (amirightoramiright?). I wish there was some way to go all offline-grass-roots with music. Like the hipster/underground/"you wouldn't know this chick because she's way better than radio" route. Like playing just live like they used to do in the olden times of ten years ago. I guess I could just start playing places (whataconcept). But now I've started the youtube stuff and I can't stop. One thing at a time, interwebs. ONE THING AT A TIME!

I'm sure in the future, things will become complacent and everyone will just accept the biggest music media outlet and be satiated with that for a while. And while that sounds so lame and non-internetmavericky, I can't wait for things to slow down a little.

Katie's Summer '11 Life Update

2011-06-30T11:42:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to teach voice lessons! I'm so excited I can't freakin' stand it. I get to polish my limited accompanying skills and help a friend work on technique and breathing.

Conspirare is going to start up again in a couple of months. I really missed it this season. It'll be great to get back to it.

I've started going to open mics again. I'm getting great feedback, and that's always good. I've been out of that scene for so long.

I am healthy and happy and full of so much love, it's a little ridiculous. I finally feel like I'm on a good path.

I played an open mic tonight

2011-06-21T20:38:00.000-07:00

Two words: Secretly terrified.

I don't know if you could see my arms and fingers shaking, but they were. I don't know what this perf anxiety is all about, but I think I could beat it if I played in front of people more.

I feel great about it. I'm glad I didn't chicken out.

:)

2011-06-20T16:31:00.000-07:00

Put it out there and it will come back to you.

♥ The proof is in the sunburn.

Scotty Update

2011-06-16T09:59:00.000-07:00

Things went smoothly yesterday. Dr. Brenda is taking care of Scotty while he makes a quick recovery. Keep praying for his healing. :) I am.

Prayers Directed

2011-06-15T10:22:00.000-07:00

Scotty is in surgery today. Send him your good vibes. All of them. There is no better man anywhere. ♥

I believe in:

2011-06-10T12:19:00.000-07:00

angels
patience
love
romance
resourcefulness
soap
sweat
hormones
mascara
scotch tape
iced tea
excedrin migraine
birth control
cardi♥
actual cardio
forgiveness
love (worth mentioning twice)

I'm trying to make a better life for myself by taking responsibility for my health and happiness. I can't do it alone, but I am the only one that can change my attitude about everything that affects me on a daily basis.

I've started keeping track of my workouts with pen and paper rather than a digital spreadsheet. There's something about the physical act of getting things down on paper. I'm a very visual person, so it helps to get home and see my workouts all laid out there on paper. I'm thinking about putting my work up online, but I'm not quite ready for that yet. Everyone has something to say about working out. People that work out all the time have something to say. People that have worked out in the past have something to say. Sedentary people have something to say. It's all a little overwhelming to take everyone's advice. I still listen, but I stick to the advice of people I admire and respect. And I stick to what is working.

And it's working. My body has changed already. I have to buy new clothes soon. SOOOON. Because my pants are all baggy and falling off. My bras don't fit at all anymore, and they didn't fit very well before I started losing weight. People are starting to notice things like that rather than my actual changing body. There's something in the back of my mind that tells me to hoard all of my clothes and make something out of them for nostalgia's sake. I guess since this has never happened to me (going down instead of up in sizes), I'm nervous that the changes I'm making aren't going to be permanent. Bah. Overthinking. Oversharing. Whatever.

Bottom line is that with my mind and body changing every day for the better, sometimes it's a good idea to remind myself what I really believe in and enjoy. These things make my life better and worth living. Of course, there are things that I've left off the list like family and friends, but those are a given. Like air and water.

♥ Namaste

Electricity

2011-06-09T07:27:00.001-07:00

Always
Be
Cooking

I'm learning a lot about myself lately. Living alone, not drinking, and working out like a mad woman. I'm making a conscious effort to cook all of my meals and not eat out. Learning new tunings. YAY! Reconnecting with myself, family members, friends, love, and the air outside.

I'm finding that I'm inspired by things I didn't know would be inspiring. Like empty flower pots, blankets, empty fireplaces, and websites that offer really cheap computer cords.

Shout out to Scotty. You will feel better soon. I know it.

Shout out to Mom. Yes, this is what it's like after college.

My friends and I, we scour the interwebs for inspiration

2011-06-01T07:53:00.001-07:00

and sometimes, one of us is successful. Thanks Dr. Lightfoot! ♥

Are You Living Big or Playing Small?

You get back what you put in

2011-05-27T13:20:00.001-07:00

Lately, I've been putting my energy into things other than music. I'm still playing guitar every night though. It's fun to learn other people's songs, but I haven't had any interest in writing for a while now. It comes and goes. I'm ok with it. I wish everyone else was. If other people are so interested in my "music career," maybe they could find ways of being supportive besides trying to make me feel guilty for not playing music for a living.

Music should never make you feel guilty. That's what parents and the Catholic church are for.

Meditation in E

2011-05-26T08:25:00.001-07:00

Trying a new tuning
I think maybe my next big trip should be to India

haha

2011-05-09T08:32:00.001-07:00

teaching yourself guitar is a little like diy Rothko

or outpatient rehab

What are you fighting for?

2011-04-28T13:38:00.000-07:00

I fight.
Every day
I fight for my health and sanity.
I haven't always been so active in this fight.

I'm awake. Now, I'm awake.
Every day
I learn more about myself.
Every day it gets harder to keep fighting.

I struggle with waking up in the morning, keeping my mouth shut at work, keeping myself from taking revenge, making it to the gym, and not feeling bad about myself.

I struggle with these things
every day.

I know I'm not alone.
Gaga gots my back.

Old Settlers

2011-04-21T08:28:00.001-07:00

Next year I will be more prepared for the awesomeness that is Old Settlers. The weather was beautiful, the company was entertaining, and the food filled me up. I ate so much meat this weekend, I won't have to eat meat for a week! I camped with folks that had all of the stuff you need for camping. I gave all of that stuff away to folks that helped me move. The wildfires weren't anywhere close to us. We got asked to join the camp next year. :) Beaver Den '11!!!!

Extreme Anxiety

2011-04-20T14:09:00.000-07:00

Sure, you can book me.
Let's see what color my hands turn between now and then.

I need to be Gordon Ramsay'd.
Bad.

Old Settler's!!!

2011-04-11T13:50:00.000-07:00

I have Old Settler's-itis today. I cain't hardly contain myself! I've gathered a bunch of stuff I'll need for 4 days of camping, and I have so much left to do. They even have yoga in the mornings.

I'm looking forward to campfire coffee, brownies, hanging out with AMY!!!, hanging out with all of my other peeps, being away from the interwebs (I'm oversaturated, should be good for my fb addiction), having two days off from work, and being O U T S I D E!!!!!!!!!

I'm not looking forward to the smell of campfire that sticks to your clothes (forever), the bugs, or being away from the gym for 4 days. I'm afraid I'll get out of the habit. Falling off the wagon is dangerous! I see early morning walks in my future.

Restoration

2011-04-04T11:34:00.000-07:00

I did some restorative yoga today. Restorative poses use props to let you relax completely so you can fall into each pose a little deeper. I need to work on my meditation more. I can't seem to quiet my mind. I feel good today. It's beautiful outside. The sun is out longer, so I will actually get to enjoy it later. ♥

Playground

2011-03-26T22:58:00.000-07:00

Removed myself from old bad habits
Replaced them with new good habits

Negative elements are slowly weeded
Natural selection based on survival

Certain things naturally fall away
When you drastically alter your process

Processes streamline over time

The loss of people and things are a part of this process.
I knew that before it started, but you still mourn things that disappear.
Cardio helps with that, too.

Muse

2011-03-24T20:53:00.000-07:00

Some people know just what to say.

Spring Break

2011-03-20T16:28:00.000-07:00

Last year during Spring Break, I went to Germany.

This year, I went to the gym.

I added it all up, and in 9 days,

I did over 11 hours of cardio.

I'm exhausted.

And in a great mood.

Earplugs and Facts

2011-03-15T09:07:00.000-07:00

I wear earplugs when I work out. The gym is a very noisy place.
I prefer cardio to weight lifting, but I enjoy both.
I am not drinking enough water. Or sleeping enough.
It feels like I either gym or party. No moderation. No middle ground.
There are times when party rules, but not now. This feels better.

It turns out, I come by all of it very honestly.

New face, I has a new one

2011-03-02T11:56:00.000-08:00

New glasses are good for the soul. And a tired face.

Who wouldn't love this face? WINNING!

Question

2011-02-25T11:17:00.000-08:00

How do I go from being someone who can fuckin' sing my face off and play the guitar ok to someone who can put on a show?

Oh! And I'm going to Old Settlers this year! Here's the lineup. http://oldsettlersmusicfest.org/artists/

Pay it forward

2011-02-22T13:48:00.000-08:00

A couple of years ago, my mom surprised me with a guitar. Up until that day, I'd been playing guitars I'd borrowed from friends. This was mine. My first guitar that was totally mine.

I just gave it to a buddy, Santiago, at work. He says playing in Spanish is different. I don't know what he means by that, but it sounds pretty cool.

Be good to people. Give what you have. It feels great.

:) stay healthy my friends

2011-02-19T10:17:00.000-08:00

Raspberry flavored EmergenC + Grapefruit flavored sparkling water
=
Deliciousness

Guitar whisperer

2011-02-16T12:22:00.001-08:00

It helps so much to have badass friends who know what's best for you. Jana Pochop is one of those people. She took me around town and shoved guitar after guitar into my hands until I found my new, Canadian babe. Shoutout, eh!

I've been playing the new guitar. It's amazing what a quality instrument does for your playing, psyche, fingers, and creativity. I didn't even know what I was missing until I got something I could play more easily. Ignorance is not bliss, it's just ignorance.

Here's a pic of the kind of guitar I got. Shoutout to Brent from South Austin Music. I told him what I wanted, what my voice was all about, and he appeared with this beautiful guitar. I'd played several of the same model at another guitar shop just to see if one stood out. From the first chord I played, there was magic. Then, he gave me a nice discount and found me a badass case.

So, with my new tuner, gifted strings from Ms. Susan Gibson, my new guitar, my new gym membership, my fantastic workout buddies, my good attitude, my mom's advice, and a newly opened window, I am better today than I was any other day.

Her name is Cherry
We've just met
But already she knows me
Better than you
~Cherry by Amy Winehouse

I bought a new guitar!

2011-02-14T10:00:00.000-08:00

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I bought a new guitar! ♥

Pics soon!
♥

Gravity

2011-01-31T11:28:00.000-08:00

The only way to get stronger is to handle heavier things.

Positivity and Light

2010-11-29T09:00:00.000-08:00

Motivations change.

Practice practice practice

2010-11-16T09:33:00.000-08:00

I need it. So. Badly.

Time to restring and get to crackin'.

In other news, I've been thinking a lot about releasing new music. I like the idea of releasing a single at a time. The Sarah Mac Band sends out personal cds of their new singles to their hardcore fans. I've seen a couple of very unique cd packagings lately, too. That seems like something that is right up my alley. Marrying (or civil unioning) a single to a creative package....this is what I will think about whilst I am practicing practicing practicing...

My sewing hiatus

2010-11-02T09:42:00.000-07:00

I made a pact with myself not to sew until November.
It's November.

I think maybe I will extend the pact until December.
My sewing machine is buried under a bunch of stuff anyways.

Saturday

2010-10-09T16:34:00.000-07:00

Excuse me.

It's time for chocolates.

I'm ready for open mics.

2010-10-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

That is all.

Have I ever expressed my love for Ms. Winehouse?

2010-10-04T08:48:00.000-07:00

I love her album, Frank.
I hope she makes it.

Is it normal

2010-09-29T09:20:00.000-07:00

to chew off a callus? Sorry for the tmi.

Please don't make fun of me for this,

2010-09-20T12:41:00.000-07:00

but sometimes, I need a little bit of help. So here I am, sending out a beam of batman light into the universe. I try to do good in my every day. I try to water my plants with the little rain cloud that occasionally follows me around. I try to shine a light where needed. Now I need some light returned. The weather has let up a little, and it is no longer too hot to be anxious.

I got Gordon Ramsay'd tonight

2010-09-16T21:46:00.000-07:00

Sounds dirty, right? Let's just say this. There are very few people that will tell you straight up when you're tryin' to pull some shit.

My pledge.

2010-09-14T10:21:00.000-07:00

I do a lot of things well. This is my pledge.

In an effort to focus more on just guitar playing, I will not sew anything until at least November. That gives me about 6 weeks of creative time with just one thing. I'm bound to get better if I'm not doing other creative stuff. If all of my juices are channeled into one outlet....

I'll let you know how this works.

And sometimes

2010-09-10T14:58:00.000-07:00

you just need to silly and stupid with old friends. Cheers.

Not quite alone times :)

2010-09-03T09:07:00.000-07:00

There's a price to be paid for my songwriting sanctuary.
Fortunately, it's hanging out with these furry bebehs.
This is my twice-daily routine to feed the big, red dog, Hannah.

Start with a clean bowl.

Add some rice.

And greenie beanies.

AND CHICKENS!!!!!

And a little bit of bebeh food.

Hannah, of course, supervises the whole process.

Not quite total recall

2010-08-25T08:06:00.000-07:00

Conspirare Symphonic is singing Carmina Burana next month. I was positive that I'd sung it before, but the more I look at this music, the more certain I am that I have NEVER seen it before. LOL

I guess I've slept/drank since then. I was just sure that I'd performed the piece before, but I guess not. I usually remember SOMETHING about the music I've done in the past. And I don't remember ANYTHING.

Anyways, I'm excited about rehearsals starting back up again. Nothing keeps my voice in shape like choir. Even though I don't know the music as well as I should (yet), I feel more physically and mentally prepared for rehearsal than I have in past seasons. Maybe that's age. Maybe it's the heat...it's too hot to be anxious. :) Remember that for your next panic attack.

I think my neti pot usage is finally paying off. It used to feel so foreign shoving water up my nose, and now, it's abnormal and problematic if I don't make the time for it. Problematic because my nose dries out and makes me all crabby. I know it's made a difference in my singin', but now I notice a difference in my yoga practice. Maybe it's a placebo affect, but I feel like I tune into my breathing more easily. Maybe that has nothing to do with shoving water up my nose, but that's what I'm crediting today. Shout out neti pot! Much love.

Here's the view from my desk. :)

Creative juices need vessels

2010-08-23T09:32:00.000-07:00

I have a couple of irons in the fire this morning. Number one biggest impediment to creation? Scheduling.

There's nothing like a room full of creative types all trying to carve some time into their busy schedules for some pickin'. I guess that's what their Iphones (and my paper calendar from the stone age) are for.

This is my late August.

M 23 - guitar lesson
T 24 - choir practice
W 25 - something musical or nap time (anyone interested in a session?)
H 26 - F 4 - housesitting/songwriting/cablewatching
S 28 - choir practice
T 31 - choir practice

Songs I'm Learning

2010-08-18T07:40:00.000-07:00

Heal Over KT Tunstall
You and I Both Jason Mraz
Do Bad Things Jace Everett

I guess my strategy lately is to learn as many cover songs as I can. Maybe that will teach me a little about life. I mean guitar.

Fodder + Alonetimez = Productivity

2010-08-06T12:48:00.001-07:00

Roomie is out of town...

Now I just need something to write about. Mom says there is more to life than love. What do YOU think I should write about? Comments/suggestions welcomed.

Breakthrough

2010-08-04T07:55:00.000-07:00

I wish I could just blog from my brain. Straight from brain to blog. Brain to blog!!! That way you could see the little flashes of lightening when they happen. Rest is a very important songwriting tool. Nobody told me that, so I'm telling YOU.

Now for inspiration. I need it.

Luckenbach!!

2010-07-29T12:26:00.000-07:00

I tagged along with Jana to the Luckenbach Pickin' Circle.
And a good time was had by all.
:)

All pics of Jana and I from Luckenbach look like this one. :)

It's small, but there's a rooster in the middle of this one.

Jana pointin' to her name. :)

Jana's awesome shirt.

Our best fans in Luckenbach. ;)

Armadillahs!

Antsy in the pants

2010-07-26T08:04:00.000-07:00

I haven't even started pre-production yet and all I can think about is artwork. I've thought about it long-term and I'd like some kind of cohesiveness throughout my work. The first album was "Bring it Home." What happens once it's home? har har

Ponderings

2010-07-23T11:54:00.001-07:00

Who says an EP has to be 5 songs?
Who says a full-length record has to be 10 songs?
Who says I have to put out a physical record?
Who says I can't just put songs online for people to download to their players?
Who says I can't get stoned? *wait, that's John Mayer*

Enough of the questions. I do plan on getting together a new album. This is my ideal CD.

Track 1 - Acapella intro (just me, and me, and me)
Track 2 - Some badass song
Track 3 - Some badass ballad
Track 4 - One more badass song
Track 5 - Some small little ditty + awesome hidden track of some sort
Track 6 - A lullaby (for my baby peeps)

Artwork?
I'm thinking about some kinda of....I don't know about this yet. Ugh. I am not that visual of a person. I mean, don't get me wrong, I LOVE to rearrange furniture and do crafty things, but my friends and family are way more talented than I am in the visual realm. Take for instance...

My friend, Emily Shirley, just put out her new EP. She did her own artwork. She is a fantastic graphic designer. She's also done CD artwork for Miss Jana Pochop.

Neti Pot

2010-07-22T13:19:00.000-07:00

I started using a neti pot about a week ago. OMG I can breathe! It's a weird sensation when the water hits your nasal cavity behind your nose. Kinda feels like you might drown a little bit. When I'm done and all of the snot is blown out of my nose, I feel like my face is lighter. I've never been so nose obsessed in my life. I've never been so worried that I have boogers hanging out of my nose. It's constant. And they just keep coming. (Sorry for the graphicness of this next statement) I didn't realize how full of boogers I was until I rinsed my face out with salt water! I equate it to letting a dirty dish soak before scrubbing it. My booger-count has gone up exponentially since I've started using it.

I've noticed a couple of changes in my singing since I've started using it. It's hard to completely vacate all of the water without almost hyperventilating and hocking up loogies (sp?). This means two things, one good, one bad.

1. The Bad - I've had to get used to breathing all over again. My breath control is all over the place. I can take air in easier now. I guess I've always compensated for my lack of air-flow in my face with more chesty breaths. Chesty breaths are colder (your body has a chance to warm up breaths when you take air in nasally). If you've ever gone from a warm room to a cold one and tried to belt something out, you know what I mean.

2. The Good - I feel like I have more resonance in my face. It will take some getting used to, but I think it will only make my sound better. It will, at the very least, give me more flavor to work with.

This is the specific pot I bought. It was only ~$13 at Walgreens and it came with 100 packets of the salt. It's pre-measured, so there's no thinking. The only thing I don't like about this model is that it's difficult to get the top screwed on. I think eventually, I will graduate into a ceramic pot.

Blog Post # 50!!!!

2010-07-22T12:55:00.000-07:00

That has to be some kinda milestone, right? :)

I had my monthly meeting with the SAS girls last night. It's nice to check in with people that share your interests, passions, and taste in wines. We listened to Jana's final mixes for her new album (pre-order taken soon at jpo.janapochop.com).

This has been a crazy week. Monday, I checked in with Dan for a guitar lesson. I went to Alamo (Ritz) with some friends to see this cool video collage by Chuck Statler (Devo video guy). I hung out with Jackie and Chuck (GNPC = girls night plus chuck) on Tuesday. We got our True Blood on. And tomorrow evening, my Primitive Noise friends, Scotty, Jeff, and Raul are playing a gig in North Austin. Mad Men starts Sunday. Frell yeah.

Just checking in. More later.

phalanges

2010-05-21T07:38:00.000-07:00

Ok. I play guitar. I now have one hand with rough, scratchy fingertips and one with normal girly fingertips. There are girly things that I need to do with my left hand (applying lotion/makeup to my face). I just scratched my face with my fingertip. MY FACE WITH MY FINGERTIP! Ugh. Any tips?

Must I?

2010-05-05T11:54:00.001-07:00

(In my whiniest teenager voice) Do I have to be all computery and technologicaly to be a musician these days?

Long story short...yes.

My reaction? (eye roll)

Creative juices

2010-05-04T09:55:00.001-07:00

I just watched the Syfy TinMan. I love anything associated with Wizard of Oz stuff. My family is from Kansas, so I guess I've always identified with Dorothy. :) We had a little Totoesque dog when I grew up, too. Anyways. Here's some Wiz stuff. That just sounds dirty.

Another Mr. Picassohead...I love these things

I went to the Buda Weinerdog Races this year.
They pick a different classic movie every year.

Epiphanic

2010-04-28T13:15:00.000-07:00

I played my new little ditty I've been working on all the way through without any major mistakes last night. Turns out, practicing is the key to getting better. Go figure. :P

I had yoga today. We stood on our heads (really the shoulders). I feel friggin' fantastic. Better than that even. Like unicorns and glitter. Better than that. Like I SOLD unicorns and glitter for a Brazilian dollars. Better than that. A Brazilian euros. :)

This is the cheery guy that I followed to work this morning. :)

Friends' Giggage

2010-04-23T08:23:00.000-07:00

Went down to Patsy's Cowgirl Cafe to see Havilah and Jana.

They're both fabulous musicians.

Bury it in the sand.

2010-04-14T12:27:00.001-07:00

It's time to move forward. I have done so many more embarrassing things in my life that one little song I could've done better doesn't register on my radar. I've been focusing on guitar and playing around with stuff Dan showed me. I think that learning a couple of covers will help a lot. Now...what to learn.....

What do you do?

2010-04-12T12:29:00.000-07:00

What do you do when there's an unflattering version of a song you do floating around? I checked, and there is no "hole of silence" I can jump into. There is no time machine. Not even a hot tub one.

The worst part is that the recording came from someone other than the person who recorded it...so who knows HOW MANY people have already heard it. Ugh. It's things like this that make me terrified to perform.

Ten Days in Germany - Berlin and Dresden

2010-04-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

I had a blast. Here are some of my fave pics.

Dresden - Graffiti in Germany is an art. It's everywhere, and it's not always this awesome.

Berlin - This is taken in a restaurant called Babel. It is my new favorite place to eat. I tried to get a t-shirt, but they weren't that interested in ordering one for me.

All of my favorite foods come in burrito form. This is Turkish food. Devon says it's the Mexican food of Germany. Deeeeelish.

Dresden - After being there, where no building is left untouched, I've concluded that all of our non-painted building fronts are boring.

Dresden

Dresden

Dresden - Me, Devon, and Kathleen - This was the first day of Spring. I couldn't keep these German girls inside. We went on a long walk and saw all the the Dresden sites.

Dresden - "Hunger auf yuppies." LOL I don't know how this translates exactly, but I get the idea. Dresden is beautiful. Lots of families and young urban professional types.

Berlin - This is folk art that's hung in Ingo's kitchen. Cute. :)

Berlin - This is me in front of the TV Tower in the middle of Berlin. It was so freeeeeakin' cold, but we were on a bike tour, so the sweat kept me warm.

Berlin - My last night in Germany, Devon and I went to see the Brandenburg Gate and the Reichstag. It was so neat to see the city all lit up.

Dresden - Kathleen and I at the song slam. We'd both had a couple of dranks by this point. :)

Dresden - This is the mural next to the bathroom at this little brunch place called Leonardo's. All of the art there was interesting and fun.

Berlin - One of my favorite murals. We found him in an alley.

Dresden - This guy is all over the Zwinger.

Dresden - We passed by this every day we were in Dresden. It's in a neighborhood called Neustadt.

Berlin - Trains are "in" in Berlin. I was nervous getting on and off...I always felt like I was gonna get either left behind, or stuck onboard.

Berlin - This is one of my favorites. It's like a Berlin Glow Worm. :)

Dresden - This is my ultimate fave. It's right across the street from the bong shop. ;)

Preparations!

2010-03-01T08:40:00.000-08:00

Oh man, I leave in less than two weeks and I can't. freakin. stand it.
I wanna jump on a plane today.

All New (Future) International Travelers Raise Your Hands!

2010-01-29T13:40:00.000-08:00

*raises hands*

I'm planning a trip to Germany! :D

I'm so excited!

More later.

Discipline

2010-01-27T13:04:00.000-08:00

It's the easiest way to get better and sometimes the hardest thing to achieve. Maybe that's why there's so much mediocrity in my playing. I've made a concentrated effort to pick up both a guitar and my Conspirare music every day this week. I don't know if what I'm physically doing is helping any so far, but I feel better about it. So I guess I'm starting with my attitude. Up until now I've dreaded practice because I fear that I won't progress any. Now, it feels good to just know where I'm at.

I've also started my yoga practice again. Good GOD it feels good to be back into it. I feel lighter. I have a glow. I'm floating.

Haiti

2010-01-19T18:31:00.000-08:00

I can barely rationalize something so tragic in my own head.
I don't have the words.